Self Help

Actual Work Space of a Non Genius

If you are still in your twenties, this isn’t for you.  You have your whole life ahead of you.  Keep Instagramming and going to NYU.  For the rest of us struggling, older, non-geniuses:

I wasn’t going to write today, because, well remember yesterday, I told you I have two jobs? And not enough hours in the day.  I also have poems, and paintings, and cartoons, and a couple half-finished novels I want to work on. I am interested in too many things to pick a lane, so I have been swerving around the highway like an entitled, gin-soaked, chief executive my whole life.  Which is to say, with little regard to my health, future, or anyone else. In general, I am average.  I am talented, but not crazy so. I am pretty, but probably not more than, I don’t know, name ten attractive people you know.  Which is to say, I have chin hairs and cellulite-since-I-was-11 just like everyone else.

All of this is to say, I am incredibly lucky.  I have a family, and a house, and willing to keep a certain amount of revolving credit card debt to pursue my interests. But I have been trying to stick to doing something creative everyday (writing, drawing,painting), and have stuck with it most of this year. But as someone who also has two jobs, and likes to go outside every so often, it has to be little by little, which can be frustratingly slow and non-impressive.

A couple of years ago, one of my friends shared with me some financial advice her very wealthy grandfather (who may or may not have murdered his business partner) shared with her: pay yourself first.  He told her this to get her investing – when she gets paid, she puts some money into an investment account first. This stuck with me too, and I have tried to apply it to both my time and my money.  I buy small amounts of stock when I get paid because it is good advice.  I am a non-saver. I will just transfer it back to checking when things run short in a couple of weeks.  And it makes me feel terribly sophisticated to say I am a stockholder (who has recently had a $17 return on each of the shares of Okta I have been hoarding like tiny walnuts).

So that’s my version of a Tony Robbins moment.  I try to apply this crazy, greedy. old man’s advice to both my money and my time. As someone who values sleep, and has two little girls that still want to spend time with me over anything else, it’s really goddamn hard. But I keep getting up every day and write myself a check, in hopes that something will stick and someday I can write for a living.  And/or make enough money to install a swimming pool.

So, it’s June 2nd. Today in 1910, Charles Stewart Rolls, co-founder of Rolls-Royce, became the first person to cross the English Channel and back by plane.  He sounds like a prime example of an entitled, lane-swerver whose confident persistence you could emulate. Or if you are looking for a more eccentric role model, maybe P.T. Barnum, whose circus started their first tour today in 1835.

Today is also the Feast Day of Saint Elmo, of Saint Elmo’s Fire fame. He is the patron saint of mariners, the Italian cities of Gaeta and Formia, women in labor, and is invoked against infant colic, intestinal disease, and cattle pests.  That is a multi-tasker if ever I have heard one.

For today: Pay yourself first

Self-promotion of my cartooning:  Christopher’s Motorbike Website or Christopher’s Motorbike Twitter and Christopher’s Motorbike Instagram

Chance of rain: 50/50

Published by Guinevere Han Derpants

Writer. Not waving but drowning. Don't worry, help is probably on the way.

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